Every day there is a new reason why I should just delete my Facebook account and never log on to that website again. The only thing keeping me on there is because FB was more or less shooting with me in the gym regarding my social media life. And you know how it is when somebody was with you shooting in the gym…
But regardless of being with someone from shooting in the gym sometimes you gotta cut some social media outlets off especially when that social media outlet refuses to let your intellectual spirit be great with its foolishness. The latest trend that has me rolling my eyes is the barrage of articles that have these annoying click bait titles (“The Second I Got Married, I Realized I Shouldn’t be Married” blah blah I’m basic blah blah please click my article blah blah this is going to be about the exact opposite of what the title reads) and then proceed to talk about some foolishness I either don’t give two damns about or just wholeheartedly disagree with.
Usually I scroll past these articles but there was one that came across my timeline that was being praised by Black Christian Facebook that although I knew I was going to despise I read it anyway. The title was something like “[ambiguous number that the author made up] things that women should start doing again[ or should have never stopped or should at least look like they do or else they’ll die old and alone]”. It was written by a black woman (so I wanted to metaphorically support her and let her be great] but, of course, the top things on the list was cooking, cleaning, and looking good for her man. And her reason for why women should behave like this is because back in the day women put time into themselves and you never saw women on 50’s Tv shows behaving like that…
M’am.
First thing to remember about “50’s TV shows”, those women were white. Like the whitest most stereotypical white women you ever did see were presented on the TV. That ain’t our history, that ain’t our struggle.
Do you know what most black women were doing while Lucy and Mrs. Cleaver was cleaning the home and cooking these elaborate meals and keeping themselves up?
Working.
‘Cuz they ain’t the luxury nor the income to be playing Mrs. Cleaver. Another thing, these women were on TV SHOWS. Depictions put out by the people who control the media. Know what that means? THE STUFF AIN’T REAL!
If you’re basing how you treat your man or how you run life off what white folks decided they wanted to tell the world about marriage and domestic life 60 years ago, girl you are on a smooth road to being outchea. Wanna know what part they left out the depression and drug problems the magical mythical housewife had back in the day, but I’m sleep though.
There’s nothing wrong with cooking and cleaning and being cute for your man…if THAT’S what you want to do. But there’s no golden rule on what you should be doing as a wife or a partner in order to be perfect. Just like there is nothing wrong with a man cooking or cleaning or taking care of the housework if that’s the arrangement you two have regarding your relationship, but I’ll be damned if I’m round here cooking (which is very much not my favorite thing to do) and cleaning (which I also despise most days) and killing myself to stay fine (and he over here looking like Homer Simpson) just because somebody told me that’s what a woman should do.
I’m all for treating your man like a KING, girl do you thang, but best believe he is treating me like a Queen in return. Because that ‘s the foundation of successful relationships, not just romantic ones but ALL relationships, giving and taking and having it balance out somewhere. I may have to compromise and cook a couple of nights out the week but I’d expect my man to be cleaning that week or washing my car or something. I’m not gonna just be doing all this work because Leave It To Beaver told me so.
Neither should you! Don’t live your life based off what the older folks tell you about “back in their day.” I’m not saying ignore your elders or ignore the wisdom of people who’ve walked the road before you but always take into account that people romanticize their childhood. EVERYONE romanticizes their youth.
Don’t believe me?
Have you been within a five foot radius of any person born between 1988 and 1995?
Born in 1990, I can say with no shame that 90’s kids are the WORST at “back when I was a kid things were so much better.” For some reason, we love to highlight Super Mario Brothers and the prevalence of great hip hop and ignore parachute suits, video game cartridges that you had to blow in to make work, and the prevalence of those weird cartoons that I’m sure had to be made by people who were very open to various types of drugs.
People will have you living a lie and wondering why your life ain’t going the way it’s supposed to all because you’re trying to live up to what used to work in their day (if it ever did work). I’m just saying don’t be outchea living your life or striving for days of exaggerations past because you believe you’ve missed out on some great time. God placed you on this earth at this time for a reason and you better go out and make the Creator proud by living your life and balling out the way YOU want to, not the way big mama, Uncle Elroy, random clueless blogger, and Pastor so-and-so told you should.
Go forth and prosper, freedom fighters!
Peace, Love, and Freedom,
-Briiiiiiiizy aka @kewl_briize aka The Chocolate Girl with The Masters Degree aka she gonna be a doctor
“I know the plans I have for you,” announces the Lord. “I want you to enjoy success. I do not plan to harm you. I will give you hope for the years to come”- Jeremiah 29:11
B.Alexandra's Cosmos 