The Art of Staying in Your Lane

Disclaimer: This post may offend some folks, and well hey, my bad. Also, this one is gonna be of a bit rant so strap in my devoted readers.

The past couple of weeks, folks have been all abuzz about the Zimmerman Trial (not the Trayvon Martin case, seeing as how Martin is not on trial because he ya know, was murdered). I have not been watching the trial. I personally can’t stomach it because it’ll just make me very angry and very sad at the same dang time. But another reason I haven’t sat down and watched the case was because I honestly don’t have to. Being the avid Tweeter that I am, I can get all the live updates and recaps about the trial from the people I follow on Twitter

Literally, if someone sneezes too loudly in the court room, I’ll find out because at least 50%of my timeline has been watching the trial since it started. The majority of my timeline is on the prosecution’s side. Well one of my follower retweets things sent to him, whether negative or positive, and of course one of them was a white lady saying how racism had nothing to with this case and he was only for Zimmerman’s conviction because he’s (the guy I follow) Black. So I was curious and clicked on this lady’s page and read some of her other tweets and they summed up to “I believe all races should be treated equally and yeah people do bad things but black people hate white people and black people are allowed to be proud of their heritage and I can’t be proud of my heritage because then I would be racist and it’s not fair.”

My first reaction to this was to chuckle.

I honestly chuckled on the inside. The tweets didn’t make me angry or anything; they amused me. Because I realized I really did not care what this white woman thought about racism. I truly had no darns to give about her opinion on race relations. I was basically like this:

See no darns to give
See no darns to give

And it’s mainly because I no longer care what people have to say about something that they have never, nor will ever, truly have their lives shaped by. I have no idea why it took me this long to get to this point, but I’m seeing how POINTLESS it is to listen and take into consideration how white people feel about race relations and racism. I literally don’t do this for any other viewpoint in my life.

I’m a Christian, a pretty die hard one at that, and therefore it makes no sense for me to be taking advice on how to be a better Christian from an atheist. I can acknowledge his views as his truth but the chances of me taking anything he has to say about Christianity to heart is pretty foolish. So why in the world would I care what someone who has not been historically or institutionally racialized has to say about my experience as a Black person and my battle with racism. It’s not even shade I’m throwing here, it’s just common sense. I’m not saying anything negative or hateful towards Whites or even trying to silence their opinions (using their because it’s not a group I racially identify with), I’m just stating my logic here.

About two weeks ago, I was chilling with my roommates watching CNN and this was during the peak of the Paula Deen scandal (that total and complete coonery that opened the floodgates for white people and some black folks the nation over to whine about double standards and how unfair it is that white folks can’t say the N-word) and the correspondent’s decided to spend at least five minutes of the show discussing the power of the n-word and why it’s such a hot button word. And I side eyed that tv so hard. It was a mixed bag of people discussing it, Blacks and whites alike, and the white correspondent looked intently as Don Lemon (black guy) discussed reactions to the word and how people felt about it and I my first thought was “Why do I even care how white people feel about this word used by blacks?”

If this reaction seems a bit far fetched to you, another aspect of where I have the “who cares” reaction is in feminist circles. I consider myself a feminist, not saying I’m grossly well versed in all feminist literature but that I’m part of the club, and I can’t say how annoying it is when I look on tv and see a man discussing his opinions on women’s issues. Not saying he can’t or shouldn’t give his opinion, just saying I don’t give it much weight. I know the value of having “men on our team” in the political climate of majority male lawmakers, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to change my feminist perspective based on anything he said. A man can talk about womens’ rights or lack thereof, but he will never know the true meaning of being a woman in America and the sexist challenges we must face. Therefore I’m less likely to give his viewpoint a lot of clout. I guess I’m just not a fan of perpetually watching people who do not have to deal with issues on a regular basis be the main ones speaking about them ALL THE TIME.

So how should an “outsider” try to support a cause foreign to them? Step number one, have a seat.

Yes, you.
Yes, you.

If you’re gonna lend support or solidarity to a cause or a group that serves a cause foreign to you, you have got to come with a servant’s mindset. Even Jesus Christ himself, the I Am that I Am, came into this world and lived his life as a servant. If God did it, so can you. You cannot strong arm your way into the organization and then try to over exert your voice as if you’re bringing some magical unheard of wisdom to a group that doesn’t truly know what’s in their best interests. That means men joining feminist causes, have a backseat and feel free to throw in an opinion or two but don’t feel you’re doing that cause any favors by being there. Same with non-Blacks who want to show solidarity or support for anti-racist causes or Black empowerment/efforts. Come to show support and be a servant. But don’t come to the monthly NAACP chapter meeting talking about how “you once were called a cracker or told to go back to your country back in high school and therefore you too, know racism” when everybody else is speaking about inherited disadvantage, the disenfranchisement of their people, the mass incarceration of their people, and the millions of micro-aggressions they face on a daily basis. I’m sure your feelings were hurt but that venue is not the place nor the time to share that experience (and sad to say but welcome to our world). Once in a class discussion about black feminism and discrimination, the one white male in our class said “well I’m a white male so I don’t think I have much to say about being discriminated against” and we applauded him.

I guess the point of this giant rant is stay in your lane, don’t speak about things you truly know nothing about, and don’t expect others to take your opinion and your thought seriously just because you felt big and bold enough to share them.

Stay strong in the struggle

Peace and love always,

– @kewl_briize aka the coolest chick you’ll ever meet aka Brini Weenie

P.S. My Youtube channel is on and popping. Here’s one of my vids. Enjoy!

“God’s gifts of grace come in many forms. Each of you has received a gift in order to serve others. You should use it faithfully.”– 1 Peter 4:10


3 thoughts on “The Art of Staying in Your Lane

  1. First off…FAVORITE LINE–>”If you’re gonna lend support or solidarity to a cause or a group that serves a cause foreign to you, you have got to come with a servant’s mindset.” Second, I feels this post, but that video….LAWD, YES, JESUS. Everything you said times 10. I don’t run up to “relaxed” people and start telling them why I stopped relaxing my hair so fall back with your explanations or, in some cases, your criticisms.

    1. Exactly! Girl I was like relaxed women calm it down. Me going natural is not me coming for your relaxer.

      As far as the solidarity, so few people get this aspect. You can’t come all up in here and try to take the game by storm over the people who been fighting for the cause

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