Drinking Large Amounts of Liquid Before I Have to Sit at a Desk for Hours….[and other things I never fail to do]

There are some behavorial patterns that I, as the whimsical wandering 20-year old that i am, tend to follow. Even if those patterns are completely illogical and totally retarded unintelligent. I’m pretty sure we all have those things that we do that we know aren’t at all smart and that we should not continue to do ( we even go so far as to vow to never do them again), yet the next chance the opportunity presents itself we’re back to our old vices. Here are my list of things that I unconscionably do over and over again even though they make absolutely no sense to my life. So sit back and enjoy as I rant a bit about what may be the cause of such non-sensical-ness {yep I completely made that word up}.

1.  Drink Large amounts of liquid right before or during a desk shift

Yeah, it never fails that I make  the same mistake at least once  a week. About a half hour before I have to sit at the front desk of my hall for two or four hours I convince myself that I want something to drink. Actually I convince myself that I not only want something to drink, i NEED something to drink  because I am clearly all of a sudden so thirsty I might just die if I do not quench my thirst. This self-induced paranoia manifests itself in me not only getting something to drink, but getting something extremely large to drink. Like I can’t just get a small tea or pink lemonade, no I have to get the Super-sized tea or lemonade. Now not only does it make no sense that I get such a large beverage, but I always choose to get drinks that everyone from Obama to Waka Flocka knows runs right through you, i.e. sweet tea, water, lemonade.  You know exactly what I’m talking about, those drinks that you can down extremely quickly because they are so delicate on your throat [as opposed to Coca-Cola/Pepsi/Sprite] and they taste so delicious and yummy. The thing about these drinks is that you practically kill these drinks in one swallow and then they sit in your system for about 30 minutes. During these 30 minutes you lull yourself into a false sense of security that you shouldn’t have to pee like a racehorse anytime soon. But then it hits you and then you feel as if your bladder is about to implode. Well I always get hit as soon as i sit down at the desk and then I’m just stuck at a point where I have to beg someone to sit at the desk while I go run to the restroom.

2. Actually Believe the Temperature app on my iPhone

Yeah, that thing lies sometimes. Which means half the time I am not properly dressed for the weather outside. This also means that when I do leave my house, I am hit with either a big gust of wind while I’m wearing a simple screen tee or a big gush of smoldering humidity while I have a hoodie on. With that being said, my pride won’t allow me to turn around and go change my attire because I subconsiously talk myself into the notion that “if I go back inside and take off this hoodie I will waste large amounts of time and end up being late for class”. Mind you it takes all of thirty seconds to take off but to my mind that equals to 15 minutes. SO i usually end up walking into class, sweating like I just ran to class or shivering as if I’ve never worn a coat in my life. So basically the best thing to do would be to actually go outside and see how it feels outside because although your weather app tells u it’s 54 degrees outside it may just feel like 70. But that would require extra effort, am I’m kinda sorta really lazy, sooooo guess I’ll just be relying on my deceitful temperature app a bit longer.

3. Download Young Money Music

Anyone who knows me knows my feelings toward Lil Wayne and his gang/roster/posse/cult/commune of kool-aid drinkers. But I must admit I do still download and listen to their music at least once. I mean I must stay current…right?

4. Go into the school cafeteria with hopes of an edible meal

I really don’t know why I put myself through this emotional failure. I don’t actually HAVE to eat in the caf because I have plenty of  Bonus Bucks but i always end up talking myself into “saving time” and going to the caf. HORRIBLE MISTAKE. EACH and EVERY time I do it. Not only does the food suck, but it also is twice the damage because I actually get my hopes up that there will be a meal that my stomach won’t immediately reject as soon as it hits my system. It tends to go like this: my best friend proposes we eat in the caf, I concur figuring that maybe since it’s a new day, they may have gotten better food. I wait in line behind a horde of freshmen who have no choice but to eat in the caf, finally make it to the front of the line and take a glance at the table where the display food is stationed. For some reason, from ten feet away the food looks okay, actually it looks darn near  delicious..too bad it’s all a horrible illusion. After i get my card swiped I walk up to the display table and all my delusions of delicious, tummy-warming, unicorns hopping over rainbows good food are shattered to pieces because the food looks like crap up close. And it’s all a downward spiral from there.

So that’s about it. Some of my senseless bad habits. There are several more, but if I listed all of those, this post would be nonsensically long. And that wouldn’t be fun at all now would it? Methinks not.

Hope this spurns some of you to think about your crazy pointless habits. Share them with me, i’d love to hear about them!

Live really loud, laugh even louder.

Go with God.

-Bri

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