Summer, summer, summer time

“school is out and it’s a sort of a buzz
a back then I didn’t really know what it was
but now I see what have of this
the way that people respond to summer madness
the weather is hot and girls are dressing less
and checking out the fellas to tell ’em who’s best
riding around in your jeep or your benzos
or in your Nissan stting on lorenzos
back in Philly we be ou in the park
a place called the plateau is where everybody goes
guys out hunting and girls doing likewise
honking at the honey in front of you with the light eyes
she turn around to see what you beeping at
it’s like the summers a natural afradesiac
and with a pen and pad I compose this rhyme
to hit you and get you equipped for the summer time”

If  those lyrics don’t sound familiar then it’s about time that you climb from the cave that you have clearly been living in for the past 30 years. For all those who don’t know, the above lyrics are the second verse to the Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff’s ‘Summertime”. A classic summer tune that can only be played once your spring semester has ended. It may not, under any circumstances be played BEFORE you are released for the summer. It also cannot be played once you have restarted school in the fall. It is against the laws of nature. Basically if you dare play this song before YOUR summer has officially began, the gods of summer shall reach down from the heavens and smite you. Ok well they probably won’t smite you but they’ll definitely revoke your maxing by the pool privileges.

After a long hard, grueling semester of work, tests, honors thesis prospectus and trying to figure out what the heck I’m going to do AFTER I graduate next year, I am BEYOND ready for summertime. And I’m sure you are too, unless you’re some kind of sick person who loves work and school and hates the pleasantries of chilling by the pool and sipping on lemonade  [spiked or not]. My summer is looking like an online course, a GRE prep class and some easy work to keep a little change in my pocket. And honestly that is perfectly fine with me. Right about now ANYTHING that is not sitting in a classroom and then  scrounging for some sort of acceptable food because the caf sucks is fine with me. Bring on the splashes at the pool, long days, and the large amount of watermelon and snowball consumption!

I know some of you out there may not have a specific plan for this summer and that too is perfectly fine. I mean if there was any time for doing absolutely nothing productive in your life it is definitely summer time. But here are a summer few tips for those of you who don’t have any plans and even for those of you who do. Let’s consider it  a guide to making the most out of your three-month[possibly 4-month for the collegiate kids] Summer 2k11. SN: I am currently deeming summer ’11 the greatest summer of ALL TIME because I just have a great feeling about. Also I say that every summer is the greatest summer of all time because well, you know, it’s not spring anymore.

1.Keep yourself occupied [aka Don’t do something to get yourself arrested]

As a third [soon to be fourth] year college student I know the exact point where most mischief, illegal activities and RAOC begin: Boredom and lack of anything else to do. Basically, don’t give RAOC a chance to flourish, grow, prosper and cause you to end up either dead or arrested. It only takes one tiny seed of coonery to grow into a big ol’ bush of coonery and soon there’s just a coonery garden going on and random acts of coonery are happening everywhere you turn and it’s too far gone for you to stop it. Usually it goes something like this:

*you and a couple of your best homies, homeskillets, and big dawgs are chilling at the house/park/the duck-off*

You:Aye y’all, I’m so bored.  What are we gonna do today? If I don’t get out of this house/off this bench I’m gonna scream.

One of your friends who has a particular penchant for coonery of sorts: *after moment of thought* Hey guys, I know what we’re gonna do today! [SN: this statement is the starting point of all the shameful acts that will probably follow for the rest of the day. Contrary to what is porterayed on Phineas and Ferb, this statement does not lead to awesome adventures which involve making giant roller coasters and building a beach in your backyard.]

You: Really, what?

Friend with big idea:[insert slightly cconish activity like posting in front of the neighborhood Mickey D’s, riding the kid bicycles through the aisles of Wal-Mart, or smashing mailboxes]

*since you are so freakishly bored this sounds like a fantastic idea*

You: Why of course we should do that! Load up the truck grab some silly string, sombreros and a gallon of Smart Water and let’s get to going!

Next thing you know your escapade of smashing mailboxes makes you accidentally hit someone’s car and now they’ve called the police and you tried to talk Mrs. Jones out of calling the cops but she’s set on “teaching you young ne’erdoing hooligans” a lesson. Then the cops arrive and your one militant anti-authority friend starts mouthing off to the cops and all of you end up in jail. And at the end of the day all you have to show for your little adventure is a horrid mug shot and a sob-ridden phone call to your mom begging her to come pick you up. [Unlike on Phineas and Ferb, where at the end of the day they have had plenty of laughs and fun times as they rode their epic roller coaster and they can look forward to more fun tomorrow because their work was wiped out by one of Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s crazy nonsensical contraptions]

Moral of the story: Make sure you don’t leave TOO much free time in your summer because free time is the mother of all mischief and 75% of all RAOC. The other 25% of causes of RAOC include: high volumes of ignorant people[coonish beings], Rebecca Black, Rush Limbaugh’s radio station, and the ghosts of Osama Bin Laden and ODB.

2. Try something New [aka taking proper advantage of all your free time]

Summer gives you the opportunity to do stuff you wouldn’t normally get the chance to do during the school year. Last summer, I went to Spain. Definitely wouldn’t have done that during the school year. The summer before, I worked at a summer camp and had a crap-ton fun. I got to run around and be a big kid all day and I lost a whole bunch of weight [added bonus]. Summer is the perfect time to pick up a hobby such as basket-weaving, knitting, perfecting your hoop game or (re) reading The Series of Unfortunate Events or Harry Potter. Personally, I love reading, but because of the 74.3 million other things I have to do during the school year I don’t get the chance to read as much. So summer is the perfect time to get back into the stroke of reading.

Summer is also great for ROAD TRIPS!!! What better way to make some great memories than some awesome trips with your friends. Even if it’s just a half hour trip to a nearby city to go to the water park for the day it’s still a road trip nonetheless. Hopping in the car and hitting the highway with your besties is fun and fulfilling any time but especially during…..SUMMERTIME. Make the most of your summer. These upcoming three months are pretty much going to be what you make of them so go out there and make some awesome[non illegal] memories.

3. Start a Festival-Movie Fund

This probably sounds odd but trust me you’ll thank me later. Just start saving as much money as possible for movies and festivals because there are going to be PLENTY of them this summer. I can think of at least four movies off the top of my head that I will be seeing either at midnight the day they come out or within a week of their premiere. Those movies are: Pirates 4, Hangover 2, X-Men: First Class, and TRANSFORMERS 3.  [I bolded transformers 3 to emphasize how excited I am about the release of this movie. Every time I think about it I get really spastic and happy and shriek really awkwardly because it’s probably going to be just as life-changing as the first and second].

Also, there are like 100 different festivals. One festival that I’m definitely saving up for is the Essence Music Festival. I mean there’s gonna be Kanye, there’s gonna be Dwele, New Edition, Boyz II Men AND Eric Benet!! Oh yeah I’m hitting up all of that! Besides, you’re probably going to have  a summer job anyway so of course you’re gonna need something to spend it on. Why not make it entertainment? I’d say that’s a better investment than buying  a  pair of kicks for each pair of swim trunks you own. Yes, ’tis a better investment indeed.

If you have a fund then you won’t go completely broke when it’s time to dish out that cash for the festival tickets and the movies because movies are definitely 10 dollars on the day they come out and like 7.50 otherwise so some stashed cash would be in your best interest.

Well these are just a couple of tips to help you have a healthy, happy, safe summer filled with laughs and snowballs and watermelon and pools and swimsuits and picnics.

And here’s a little treat to help you along.

-Cool Briize aka the Bri-ster

“I take pleasure in infirmities,in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong”-2 Corinthians 12:10