“i think we’ve all gone mad…” [and other proof you’ve been working with kids]

As I mentioned before, I am officially a counselor at Camp NOLA Kidz, a camp for ages 5-15. My kids are the 10 and 11 year

I'm perpetually in this state..

olds and they’re basically all little geniuses. They are wonderful, brilliant, amazing, and all kinds of awesome and I cherish every minute that I get to be around them and their shining faces. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way…I’m not going to lie kids are trying, even my little star shines. Any camp counselor/teacher/mentor/person who deals with kids knows that kids will wear you down. I mean break you down to the core if you can. It sometimes is like being stranded in the middle of the rain forest filled with wildlife and deadly weather-only the strong survive.

At the end of the day you will sometimes be worn down to your soul. Basically you’re gonna want to just lay in the rain and assume the fetal position….for real I’ve contemplated it. Yet, I keep going back every day..I guess I must love it. If you know any teachers or people who work with kids, you should give them a hug. Or buy them a Lexus. Or pledge your undying love to them. Or you know just give them a hug.

Here’s a few things that people who work with kids all have in common:

1. They no longer attempt to act completely sane
Kids make you insane. They literally make you lose all grips with reality and you pretty much accept the fact that you’ve gone mad. Here’s an example of a scenario:
You and your friend are walking through the park.
You: Wow it is such a splendid day outside. The temperature is perfect for canoeing or perhaps taking an afternoon stroll or partaking in some other enjoyable outdoor activity.
Friend: Or we can just run around in circles and hold hands and sing ‘father abraham‘. Don’t you love Father Abraham?

Yes irrelevant and random bursts of child-related things will come out of the mouth of someone who works with kids for so long. I guess it’s because of the fast pace and spasticness of classroom life. Or maybe it’s because kids are kinda slightly psychotic and once you’re around them for more than 5 hours their insanity sneaks it’s way into your mind.

2. They are either extremely excited or extremely turned off by kid-related activities

Basically you can pretty much tell if someone is around kids for too long when you pass the toys aisle in any store. There are only two reactions possible for people who are around kids for extended periods of time: 1. They run and play among  the toys as if they are five years old or 2. They run away from it as if it’s one of the ten plagues brought down by the hands of God upon the disobedient Israelites [so i’m making the Bible reference because I work at a Christian Day camp and this week we’re talking about Moses and the Israelites, yep I work at Jesus Camp]. This reaction stems from the excessive amount of time around toys and other things juveniles enjoy. It’ll go away eventually…I think.

3. They use extremely off the wall ways to remember stuff.

Basically people who have to help kids learn/remember stuff use ridiculous tactics to jot the kids memories. Like all those weird mnemonics we learned, like the planet one about mothers and pies? Yep, a million of those get stuck in your head. You think you’re fine and then you spend a week with the kids and you’re memorizing your grocery store list by connecting david to the giant and the giant stalks and that reminds you wanted a stalk of celery. There you go.

4. The line between when to use their regular voice and their counselor/teaching voice becomes fuzzier and fuzzier every day

After a week of camp counseling, I have begun to use my “camp voice'” outside of camp…which is bad because my camp

yep it all sounds like this

voice is very loud and strong and obnoxious because it’s meant to reach over the yelps and giggles of pre-teen children and grab their tiny little attention. Basically anytime I get vaguely excited or want to say something with emphasis, I say it really loud and the bad thing is no one else has “camp voice” hearing so just seem really loud for no reason in non-camp settings.

Well that’s all I have! So my fellow readers if you have any friends who are around kids a crap-load, or if you are that person who has devoted a majority of their day to the kiddies,  what’s some other surefire signs of your extended time around kids?

-Briizee

“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam, so stop the matter before a dispute breaks out”-Proverbs 17:14

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4 thoughts on ““i think we’ve all gone mad…” [and other proof you’ve been working with kids]

  1. You forgot the part about constantly having to “get your game face on” since kids, like wild animals, can smell fear. Being constantly on the defensive for the crap that (some) kids pull is exhausting by the end of the day.

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