A Bucket of Irrational Fears [A Few Rational Conclusions I Jump to Irrationally]

After calling my mom for a half hour with no reply so instead of thinking she might be just be busy or not near her phone, I begin to assume something horrible had happened. My mind went from “Oh mane she didn’t hear her phone ring” to ” oh dear God, why’d you take my mother from me” in all of ten seconds. About an hour into my tizzy I started calling family members to join int he panic. My cousin [who’s like my older sister] and I devised a plan that if my mom didn’t call me back in the next half hour she was going to go to the house and check to make sure nothing shady had went down.  Fifteens minutes into our half hour countdown, still no call back from my mom. So now I’m in hyper-panic mode. My cousin called me back and decided to go to the house immediately to go make sure the house hadn’t been ransacked by vagabonds or marauded by ne’erdoers. As soon as my cousin entered the house, prepared for the worst, my phone rang and it was my mom…two hours after I first tried to call her.

Her first words?

“Brianne, why did you call me 24 times?”

Oh I don’t know mom maybe it’s because I thought you were dead or injured or in a hospital in Tibet or something??!! Now, of course, I was super relieved that she hadn’t been killed or murdered or passed out  or taken by rogue werewolves. But this little scenario made me wonder why I got so worked up. The fear that someone I love has been injured is pretty rational to me, but because the person didn’t pick up the phone quick enough doesn’t automatically mean they’re dead in a ditch somewhere. There’s always the possibility though.

In one of my recent posts, I mentioned my fear of people wearing masks. I feel that [the fear of people wearing masks] is a pretty rational fear, I mean Jason wore a mask and what did he do? Slaughter people. Know who else wore a mask? The killer in the Scream movies.So yes, a fear of people wearing masks is pretty rational because there is a chance that if someone wanted to murder me in my sleep, they’d be wearing some creepy, emotionless mask.

Any normal person has fears and worries about things in the world. Here are a few fears of mine that I have or used to have that might be a smidge irrational:

A person has been killed or horribly wounded because they don’t answer their phone or call me back within a timely manner

[See situation above.]

If I get trapped in an elevator I’m going to die there

I know they have the fancy ‘call for help’ buttons in elevators and the big red fire department button so that the firefighters can come and rescue you like elevator-opening, life-saving ninjas. Still, I hate elevators. I mean they’re giant metal boxes that if they malfunction can send you plummeting to your iron clad death. [Ok I know you have to be like 20 floors up for an elevator crash to kill you but it’s perilous nonetheless.] It stems from being trapped in an elevator when I was about 4. I was at the W.I.C. office with my mom and we got on the elevator with like seven other people. Halfway down, the thing stopped. Just stopped in mid-movement. I looked at my mom and then looked at all the other people and stood there wondering if we would ever see the light of day again. Do you know how traumatizing that is to a four-year old? Very! I have no idea how long it was until we were freed from the mechanical prison, but eventually the thing started moving and you know, we got out. The older I’ve gotten, the better I’ve gotten with elevators but every time I step into one I’m always conscious of how fast it’s going and if it seems to be flowing smoothly because you never know about those things, you just never know…..

If I’m not under the covers, intruders would be able to see me and take me hostage

Okay, this one is more of a thing I’ve had since childhood.

I guess I watched too many crime shows where people’s houses got broken into at night and then the burglar saw them sleeping and killed them or took them for ransom. For some reason, I always thought that if I buried myself under the covers and didn’t move an intruder [or my mom if I was in trouble] would not be able to see me and would continue to raid the house and I would be able to plot my escape. Actually this one is pretty stupid because of course anyone can see you laying in bed even if you’re hiding under the covers…that made no sense, forget I mentioned it.

If I’m ever lost in the woods, rabid, flesh-hungry wolves will hunt me down 

I’m all for camping and retreats and bonding with nature but within good reason. I’ve been out in the woods where the only way my cell phone will get a signal is I fashioned myself a make-shift antenna out of a wire hanger, some paper clips and bubble gum and then climbed to the top of a tree and made a call from the highest brach on the tree. But I’ve always stayed close to the camp, and if we did go off the trail I looked back every three seconds to make sure I could see where the trail was. I really don’t want to be lost in the woods because I’m convinced that every forest houses vicious woodland creatures. No animal is to be trusted, not even the squirrels. I’m sure they are all just waiting for me to trip, break my ankle, and become incapacitated so they can have dinner for the next couple of weeks.

I always picture the wolves coming after me first and I’d freak out and pass out like a punk. Then I’d just be wolf food and I’d be remembered fondly by my loved ones as the one who had such great potential but got attacked by that pack of wild wolves.

Well folks, that’s all I got for my irrational fears but what about you my beloved intellectual readers? Any fears, rational or irrational, that you’d like to share?

Peace and love,

-Bri

“Do not be afraid, you who are highly esteemed,”he said. “Peace! Be strong now; be strong.” When he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said,”Speak, my lord, since you have given me strength.”-Daniel 10:19