Things That Are Not Awesome

I’ve been super sporadic with my blogging, I promise I’m going to do better. I now pledge to blog at least once month. If I have not posted something by the 15th of every month, feel free to tweet and facebook with angry, impatient messages. Not too angry, of course.

These past couple of weeks I have been without inspiration on my next blog topic when it came to me that I should talk about things which are not awesome. I enjoy finding awesomeness in every possible situation and filling my day with it, but there are some things that you just cannot spin into an awesome soufflé. Here is a list of those things, and if this topic sounds a lot like this post or this one it’s because it is but read it anyway:

Crying with Makeup On

Since I moved to the DMV and began graduate school, my whole daily schedule has changed. I found that I now have time in my morning/day that I didn’t have back in undergrad. This newfound surplus of time coupled with my newfound love of makeup means that I basically have makeup on every day. Even when I don’t have full face on, there is always some thing on my eyes (eyeliner and mascare at the VERY least).

Well unless it’s one of those days where the struggle is especially real, then I may just wake up and say screw it and walk out the door bare faced. But 9 times out of 10 I have makeup on.

Seeing as how you can never predict when an emotional moment will sneak up on you there’s absolutely no way to be prepared for it. Unless of course you’re watching the Lion King in any of its forms(I saw it on Broadway and still cried), well then you have a heads up that you will weep like a small motherless child. Besides that, you just neer know, so I always find myself facing these moments where I shed a tear or two but I have my eyeliner just right so I have to do the weird makeup cry.

If you have ever cried and still had the wherewithal to be conscious of your makeup, then you know exactly what the weird makeup cry is. It’s where you kinda lean your head to the side in a attempt to direct your tears to either the inner or outer corner of your lower eyelid in an effort to catch the tear before it ruins both your eyeliner, your mascara, and your foundation. This only works of course if you have tissue nearby and are not sobbing uncontrollably, otherwise you’ll end up looking like this:

No one should look like this. Ever

Missing Your Metro Train by seconds

This is a DMV-centered one but any one who takes a bus anywhere should be able to relate. It’s one thing to walk to your platform, see that’s it’s a ten minute wait till the next bus/train/car, sigh, and take your seat on the nearest bench.

It’s another to walk to your platform, see your Metro car is there, gather your things, sprint down the escalator, watch the doors slam shut, and the train pulls off as everyone in the car gives you a look of pity. Its also something else when you get to the platform and see a train pulling off and the last thing you see as it rides away is that it was the last Green line train for the next 20 minutes. Either way, both of these scenarios suck.

People who generalize everything and everyone

Oh but this, my friends is the least awesome of all. Those wonderful people who decide that since some random person did something sucky to them they need to generalize this person’s undesirable characteristics to every other person of the same gender, race, nationality, state of residency, show size, etc.

Why are these people not awesome? Because there is NO logic behind their statements.

Not familiar with this type of person? Here’s an example:

Guy who is from Texas has an unpleasant altercation with a guy who is from New Orleans. Guy from Texas is so amped up after argument that he decides to take his frustrations to social media. Guy posts status on Facebook that says something like “Them people from New Orleans are the most belligerent, ignorant, loud, and obnoxious people on the face of the planet. I wish another hurricane  would wipe them all out.”

Now good sir, What did the ENTIRE city of New Orleans do to you? Did everyone in NOLA cuss you out and talk about your mama? No they did not so why would your one altercation make you wish the entire city would be washed away?

Another example you ask for?

Female who talks to extra whack dude and then ends up getting played tweets something like this:

“All men are dogs and ain’t worth nothing. I’m never trusting any of them again because they don’t know how to treat a good woman! DEUCES!”

Once again, madam i’m sorry that this particular fellow, who any one with eyes could see wasn’t worth the salt it took to get him here, has broken your heart but what about this specific incidence applies to the WHOLE MALE sex? You have literally encountered every man on the face of the earth and found them all to have the relationship capacity of a canine?

Dogs are quite loyal and lovable if I do say so myself but that’s just me

Folks who let their racism show and then wonder why you think they’re a racist

This one kinda goes with the preceding point, but I’m gonna give it it’s own subtitle anyway. This is me, metaphorically

Just in case you were living under a rock or on sabbatical in an uncharted area of southern Antartica the President of the United States was re-elected this past Tuesday. *does Holy Ghost run with President Obama Hope shirt on while hitting the dougie and mo’head swagging at the SAME DARN TIME!*

Of course with our president being of mixed heritage and looking black all the rednecks, racists, and idiots shared their opinions about this re-election. I saw tweets and posts with people calling him everything from a nigger to a monkey (pretty much everything but a child of God) and pictures of people with shirts that said keep the “White back in the White House”.

Pretty racist right?

There was one girl who tweeted during the debates and called him a nigger MULTIPLE times in MULTIPLE tweets, and then when all the lovers of our President and people with common sense berated her for her inappropriate remarks she tweeted “guys I’m not a racist, I just hate Obama. This girl is a real racist.” and proceeded to retweet a person who was making even more explicitly racist remarks….So not only are you an in-denial, fake racist but you have fellow racist friends that you can use as a comparison for you not being racist. So you call all people you hate-black,white asian, latino-niggers?

Oh ok then, well let’s all just join hands, sing Kumbaya, and eat sushi in solidarity as an mp3 of MLK’s ‘I Have A Dream Speech” plays softly in the background…..

NO! Racism really isn’t that hard of a concept to grasp. If you are saying something about, doing something to, or refusing something from somebody on the basis of their RACE, it’s racist. I don’t care what it is. If you’re giving black folks popsicles and witholding them from white people as payback for the several centuries of American slavery, as awesome as that probably makes you feel,  you’re a racist. If you have several friends of various colors and you are white, and even though you have multitudes of black friends, you clutch your bag and switch sides of the street whenever you see a black person coming, yes my friend you too are a racist.

My point is, if you’re going to do racist things, own up to it…or my special task force of the Race Police will find you, capture you, stick you in a room and make you watch the entire mine-series of Roots (both the first and second generation) until you repent for your racist ways.

Well my beloveds, I think I’ve ranted enough. Hope you enjoyed the post and I definitely wanna know what are some other things that are not awesome just in case I missed some!

Much love, Brini-Bri.

“Casting down imagination, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every though to the obedience of Christ”-2  Corinthians 10:5



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